The Truth is...

The truth about us is we are dying too fast to live
Living too fast to forgive and all the while we try to give
The image of calmness in the storm as though calamity is the norm, form and content
Mingle and discontent tingles in my spine in my spirit like death
Loving til my last breath this thing that binds me, drowns me and keeps me afloat
My hope that there is something beyond this and bliss?
Oh baby.

The truth about us is we are to ugly for words cus we make ourselves heard
Through blows to the heart when the gut is so much more apparent a target
Transparent I martyr myself til no one wins
These storm winds are prevailing and Im sailing into the beyond
All the while singing this song
on the truth about us...

Agape

I guess I was wrong
That happens sometimes when these words don't meet the lips
And the smile don't meet the eyes I am so strong
That I started carrying my sorrows in my pockets
Even as I juggled minor planets
And I looked to him for comfort
He said he would always be there and I wanted to believe that
He reminded me of a summer day in Brooklyn
A trainride away from happiness
And I promised I would never break like they had
Never cause pain like they had
Never take, always give, even if it meant my last
I was willing
His lips were the only thing that soothed me
In dark moments when the tumult of life slip into crevasses I could not protect
He would
With that smile that was brighter than any sun
And we was so powerful it was poisonous
Pure danger
And I loved him that much harder
They call it agape
Unconditional Love
There was no objective truth when it came to him
No time when context wouldn't count more than actions
No time where I wouldn't juggle tears, the truth and reason
To make sense
We were seasons, we were chaos
We were chasms and light blended into fury
Some kind of cosmic dance, we took our chances and my stance shifted
TO carry the weight you see
To balance the smile and pace myself for the miles ahead
He became my everything and that left me with nothing
But agape
SO I hold his memories like he held my hand
And I will not forget the lessons he taught
Through his actions, through my heartbreak
Through it all
I promised to always remember the way he felt
Until my smile and my eyes no longer meet I will carry you
Long after you have forgotten
I will be there, like I said
Agape

Honey Hand Sam

Drip drop. Honey hands. Strangling the strangelings.
Beat before they meet demands.
Glazed lies, narrowed eyes. And you are gentle.
With your hands around my neck, and promises.
Etched in the next moment of insanity but you meant every bit
Of the death you brought, so don't say sorry
Don't promise me safety in social contracts, abuse me with constructs
And then speak to me of my misdeeds
Drip drop. Sticky hands cling to me like regrets
Odorous like cigarettes
Beaten into sumbission, you promised something different
But you lied
Honey hands and gilded tonge
Sent them walking a trail that soon came to bear their blood
This is not what you said it would be
We wear their marks now
All of us and your honey hands are still there
Ever present
Squeezing
Bringing that sweet death and broken promises
We were supposed to be happy
And like some mirage you dissapear
Behind smoke and mirrors and well written fables
And discreet and slightly enticing threats
What a fool I was to believe you ever meant well

Gently strangling the hope
With honey hands and gilded tongue

With Hearts Like Icarus

We slipped and fell into something of a spell in which the only two that
truly mattered was us
And we became something ugly and poisonous
Noiseless but altogether we too loud to be tolerated
A kind of silent destruction orchestrated by our hearts that wouldn't speak their mind
All of a not so sudden the tumble ended where the fall began
Our plummet to earth just as riotous as our time spent above it
Kind and Queen of Darkened Stars
The rulers of a diminished landscape
We escape ourselves in each other
Even as one's demons awaken to claw at the other's leg
I ask you for promises and you give me sullen comforts
Eyeless beliefs dance in relief in your mile-high smile drenched in something
Unfamiliar and painful
What is familiar but pain? What else have I known so well
And so when we fell into that spell it almost seemed as if I had finally
Reached home
But isnt that what poems are for?
Sore from our descent we consent to consort and resort
To stabbing words to make ourselves heard above the din of a calamity
That comes from being in love and not being able to say so
We know
You hear my tears in witching hours like I hear your curses in the dark
My anguish that thing which leaves its mark
Which of course you ignore because you have become so accostomed to not feeling
that you've forgotten what it means
Altogether
Whether or not we make it from this spot
We must remembe what we endured to get here
We will escape nothing unscathed but our rage for ourselves will sustain us
I will maintain my brave smile while you shrug
We flew too close to the sun and now we are burned
From poor Icarus was nothing learned?
We will recover and hope to return to that place
So close to the sun
Where nothing truly matters but us and our hearts
So much like Icarus

Hardluck Poems I

She spit hardluck poems
The one like his handprint was always on her cheek
the one like her reality was bleak like her mentality was on some fuck it shit
Hardluck like hard hands and brown bodies
And the break in the beat was like the sound of fists into ribs
ANd guilty feet whose dance always crack bones
Or crack homes
They saw her cry more times than laugh
The brown children that wore his smile and her eyes
And his lies of peace kept her between them
They her burden and as big as her slice of the pie got
He was once her escape and now she sought to escape him
And when she could not she spit hardluck poems that reminded her of home
That reminded her of when the smile met the eyes
And the tears were infrequent
And the scars didn't add up to some sorrowful mural on her skin
Mocha without, hurting within
She trusted him
Believed he would vindicate her
Believed that he was her raison d'etre
Until she realised her reason to be was life
And these kids with his smile
Across time and space her complexion changed to match that
Of a woman by another name
But the same pain follows
Always
Until we realise that those blows aren't dealt with love
And the only hands that strike belong on clocks
And these poems may elevate but they won't save
Those hardluck women from and early grave
Just sayin

HE

Walked into my dreams like a nightmare

Walked in and took the dark with him but with him ain't where I'm at

And where I'm at ain't where I wanted to be

I saw myself with him and with him I looked sweet

I looked bright I saw light that I had given back

The brightness within me sought the calmness of him and before it was over

it had yet to begin

We take solace in the dreams of tomorrow

We find peace in the tears of today

I am bright when I relinquish my sorrow

I am keeping the demons at bay

He walked into my dreams like he belonged there

And reminded me why I am still here