Ok. It’s not perfect. Everything is not what I want it to be. Times are hard, and some days are even harder. I get lonely, I get scared, I worry about the future, I worry about losing my mother who is my entire world, I worry that I won’t be smart enough, driven enough, lucky enough to make my dreams real. I have days when I feel like I’m running out of time, and days when I have too much time, to much space, to think about the things that terrify me most. I worry that for all my beauty and intelligence I’ll die alone or I’ll disappoint myself.
But those are just my fears. They are just fears. Tiny minute things in comparison to all that I am, all that I have overcome, all that I am strong enough to continue to overcome. I have today, I have now, to make the most of. I may not have everything I want but I have most of what I need, sanity, all my limbs, I have family, food to eat, a place to sleep, even if it’s just for now…now is all I need. I’m building, working on the future, making something real. Even if I don’t become the greatest attorney the world has ever seen I’m a black girl from a shabby apartment in Brooklyn who refused to let the storms of life drown me.
There are moments when I feel like I am too tired to keep up the fight, but then I remember Me, I remember Allah, I know that it’s not all on me and I’ve gotten this far, which is more than a lot of others can say. I’ve made it to twenty with most of my heart. And a smile that refuses to be dimmed.
Don’t ever falter. Don’t ever let someone break you down. Don’t ever be overwhelmed by the current situation. And more than anything don’t ever let the hardships of life stop you from seeing the beauty in it. The only time you’ve really lost is when you stop finding the joy in the little things. We gotta laugh, and smile and keep fighting. There is even creation in destruction. We are something like phoenixes rising. And we gotta live like this is our only chance…
No comments:
Post a Comment